When You Just Keep Getting In The Way of What Is Best For You…

Don’t we all love to resist some aspects of our lives or self for various reasons we deem reasonable? These reasons could stem from not having the energy/time to effectively address what requires our attention, not knowing how to deal with it, thinking it doesn’t need to be dealt with, or even just not believing we’re capable of dealing with it. All of these are ways of coping with difficulties that arise in life and serve us as long as they don’t get in the way of becoming who we truly wish to be. In this post I cover the basics of conquering resistance to become who you actually want to be, what I’ve struggled with recently regarding it, and some tools that may help you in your own life. 

Now, as a man, I would argue that men excel at the life skill of resisting, which, as I’ve stated, isn’t always a bad thing (even though one’s wife or significant other may strongly disagree with that statement). Each of us have situations, responsibilities, emotions, thoughts, etc., that we strongly try to resist to maintain what we think should be. However, ignoring what is occurring internally or externally with all your might does not change what is present for you in your life. This causes us as men to all too often get stuck in the rut of ignoring what is to some degree and then attempting to power through whatever obstacles arise with all of our physical and mental strength.     

I’m writing about this now because, on a personal note, over the past six months of my life, I have gone through a tremendous amount of change on a variety of levels, and you guessed it, I’ve resisted many things that I wish I hadn’t. Relocating myself and my family has caused many of my coping tendencies to arise that I am usually able to keep in check. The following are the main ones that came up. The first was allowing anger to dominate me. I truthfully have an amazing life overall and am grateful to be where I am, but I kept waking up angry, and it predominated too many of my days over the past little while. The second was making myself too busy. I spent a lot of time over-occupying myself with accomplishing as many tasks as possible externally to feel more centered internally, which did not work. The third was avoidance. I chose to avoid healthy behaviours that I’ve utilized for nearly a decade that have helped me resist less and be more fully in my life. Eventually, this all led to a “conversation” with my wife.

I won’t get too detailed about the conversation because I’m sure you’ve been on the receiving or giving end of a very similar conversation at least once in your life. However, long story short, Renee conveniently pointed out (quite sternly) that I have not been taking care of myself mentally, emotionally, and physically as I should and as she has seen me do in the past. This confused her greatly as I am a yoga therapist and a counsellor who tries their best to practice what they preach to a very high level. Almost all of what she said was completely true, and her bluntness was like being punched in the head. Nonetheless, what she said shook me to my core so that I could see how I was resisting as well as what I needed to do and be in order to show up at the best version of me.

Thankfully, I listened openly to what Renee said to me and doubled down the following day on what I needed to do to conquer my resistance. Which for me includes regular journalling, daily yoga, counselling (yes, I go to counselling and have for many years), and sometimes just shutting off and playing video games with my son. Also, just because these activities help me immensely in embracing my life as it is and conquering resistance doesn’t mean they’ll do the same for you, but they’re definitely worth a try in my opinion. Hopefully, by maintaining these practices, I’ll be able to be who I truly wish to be and avoid having another conversation similar to the one I recently with my wife because, ultimately, that is how I wish to live my life.

Are you also struggling with conquering resistance to become who you truly wish to be? If you are, I highly recommend trying the following if you haven’t already to see if they help:

• Talk openly with someone you trust about what you’re struggling with i.e.; spouse, friend, family member, or counsellor (if you don’t have anyone to reach out to and are looking for support, try 7cups.com it’s completely free with no ads and you’re anonymously able to chat with listeners who want to help you)

• Journal (however feels right to you there’s no one right way to journal), meditate on what you’re resisting allow whatever arises to come out (learn more about meditation here), or you can even talk out loud to yourself, all of which will help you process whatever you’re dealing with

• Try some yoga, specifically yin or restorative yoga, if you can as it is the best for practicing how to release what no longer serves you mentally, emotionally, and physically (here are two videos you may like: 45 Min Yin Yoga Routine & 20 Minute Restorative Yoga Routine)

• Shift gears and do something that fills you up but doesn’t add a bunch of stress to your life (i.e.; playing some video games, go for a walk, do a puzzle, play solitaire, whatever allows you to unplug from the day to day and connect to yourself/present moment)

I do hope you found this post on conquering resistance to become who you truly wish to be helpful and I encourage you to share it with anyone you think could benefit from it if you did.

To better deal with your stress check out this post.

To just relax and unwind try our most popular yin video here.

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